1. |
something else
01:40
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i've got a constant keeps me sane
everything else can change and fade
wars can wage inside my head
crimes can keep me fed
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2. |
& another 1
01:32
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one at a time i'll replace the things i hate about myself
broken and mean i'll find everything that makes me someone else
one day when i see the person i've always wished that i could be
then maybe i'll feel real when i look in the mirror
so i'm gonna
punch through the glass and grab that asshole smiling back at me
i'll force them to smile stick around for a while and teach them everything
we'll pick up that shattered mirror and cut our way out of this place
into an ocean made of broken glass
where a thousand realities are watching me pass
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3. |
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4. |
hospital
03:46
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one day i'll wake up and i'll have figured out
just how to convey some meaning in a couple minutes
the faster i write the less sense i think i make
i hope you understand what i'm trying to say
every day i'm dying a little bit less
every second i die a little more
mental self-harm only gets you so far
obsessing over how fucked we are
turn into yourself once again
no not that
you've got the features all wrong
one day i'll wake up from this hell i don't believe in
where all the ones who hate me get to watch me get hurt
we can tell you what's wrong with you
we can fix the simplest problems for just a pound of flesh
every week i'm dying a little bit less
every instant i die a little more
compromise only gets you so far
but we can't ask the ones we've failed
one day i woke up and i figured out who i was
my heart will burst right through the atmosphere
and on reentry burn until reborn from fear
i thought i'd die before it happened
one day i will wake up
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5. |
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6. |
repeat (1/all)
01:56
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i used to write sad songs
now they're all angry and tired
that's a function of instrumentation
a consequence of confidence
now i'll write what i've always listened to
what i might want to listen to
what i wish i could listen to
narcissism is replaying a song you wrote
for hours at a time
i do it til i find all the pieces that i need to change
then i throw it away and forget how it's played
just like every single song i ever wrote
press play, nod off, rewind, unplug
press play, practice on, volume up, fuck your hearing
i'll steal from people more clever than me
stand on the shoulders of someone just as broke
cover a song that means nothing to you
as long as it means the world to me
now ill plagiarize what i've always listened to
why don't you just listen too
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7. |
hell
02:24
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i can't be civil when you're telling me to die
i can't hold my tongue when you're trying to cut it out of my head
i can't stand myself when the only way to get a job is to change everything about who i am
the fact of my existence is not a transgressive act
my identity is not up for discussion
i'm sick and tired of being ignored
i changed the things i didn't like
i covered myself in paintings and metal
you don't like the art on my skin so i'll flay myself alive and now maybe i won't starve in the street
my existence is not political
i can't myself when the only way to make a change is likely to be killed by greed
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8. |
grow up
02:24
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step back and analyze yourself
your lack of questioning tends to be the answer
spin until your nausea's all you feel
throw it up when you can't hold it in
your closed off soul lack of imagination
there's not enough time to express
the anger i harbor at the lies we've all been fed
everyone said you'll grow out of this
but all the slurs in the world won't change who you grow up to become
you're not a scared little kid anymore
you're not a mask worn by a hollow doll
fuck your faulty models
your lack of moving towards realization
hierarchy goes farther every day
dig too deep and cut it right off at the head
you closed your eyes and stopped the mobilization
punctuated by an aggressive backing track
i'll scream myself hoarse while you're talking over me
this guillotine never tasted so sweet
but it's kind of hard to use while they're still standing
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9. |
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10. |
they/him
02:11
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and i'm adrift in a sentient sea
struggling for breath and this water is poisoning me
i'm done putting on this hollow-hearted act
so it can fill me with the deep and pull me under
swim to a jagged coast and pull myself ashore by broken nails
burn this sinking ship before it gets to port
a wooden carapace to keep me safe, a lie
cut gills into my throat
force myself to breathe deeply again
dive deeper into the black and give yourself up to the brine
spend your life trying to get back to the safety of the shore
a lie told to us to keep us from realizing ourselves
i'm angry and alive in something i used to fear
a violent metaphor for change personified
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11. |
fever dream
03:14
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one part theory one part mistake one part answer two parts questioning
a pinch of denial a dash of joy cracked and roasted coping
get your mise en place segmented and arranged by emotion
heat an oven so much it bursts into flame
take all your worst memories roughly chop and pulse until indistinguishable
sprinkle into a fine mist of background radiation
garnish with happiest memories
final product will be tasteless odorless
serves 1 but can disappoint more if needed
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alien machine Fort Worth, Texas
A solo artist pretending to be a 3 to 5 piece garage punk outfit. I write what I would want to listen to.
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